


Not With You

by charlotteof_denmark



Category: Tegan and Sara (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Incest, Montreal, NSFW, Smut, quincest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-09-09 14:58:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8895640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlotteof_denmark/pseuds/charlotteof_denmark
Summary: Tegan and Sara spend a few days together in Montreal after their tour in America.





	1. First

Sara. And Tegan. Sleeping in a real bed under freshly cleaned sheets. Not very much tangled, but entwined in blankets and each other, Sara in a fetal position to Tegan’s left who was on her stomach with an arm flung over her sister. There were two bottles of wine on the floor, empty, a box of oreos, surprisingly only half empty, and leather jackets and boots splayed across the floor. They decided to head back to Montreal after their last night in Florida. They were so tired but so happy with their tour, and strangely, all they wanted after all this hard work was to be together. They had no time alone, there were always people around to rehearse, pop in and say hi, fix their outfits, bring them coffee, etc. No hands up thighs or pecks on the cheeks. Nothing that would lead to any questions or anything that would make their hearts skip a beat. It wasn’t the time, it wasn’t the place. But that was then. The appartment in Montreal was spotless, smelled like Pine-Sol, and most importantly, Stacy was gone. There were no distractions, no indiscrete eyes, no outside opinions, no outside morals. Did the twins have morals? Probably less than the average person. Probably less as they years went by. It wasn’t as important as in the beginning, when they were sixteen, cheeks turning bright red, slamming doors, hiding hickeys with oversized turtlenecks. In a blink of an eye that time went by. And there they were.  
“Tegan.”  
Sara hovered the warm body, studying the gray under eye circles, the pink nose, the chapped lips.  
“Tegan...”  
Both of them were fully dressed in t-shirts and sweatpants. They laughed about their matching outfits last night after emptying a bottle of Merlot.  
“Tegan...hey...”  
She finally heard the voice calling her, rubbed her eyes, tried to blink and groaned, scooting next to Sara.  
“We had a crazy night yesterday,” Tegan whispered, shoving her head under her arm.  
“Yeah but,” Sara paused to push Tegan’s head back to look at her, “you had too much to drink.”  
Tegan nodded and tried once again to get closer, hugging Sara’s waist and getting her head tucked in her armpit. Sara relaxed in her embrace and sighed quietly. The sunshine crept between the curtains, making a warm spot on the bed. The pair were so comfortable they almost went back to their deep sleep. It was almost 9am. They had all day to get out of this bedroom. Either one of them would have to drag the other for breakfast or worse, there would be a phonecall. Something stupid like their mom asking if everything was okay. And everything was okay. It was peaceful and fuzzy and warm. The bed shook as Sara slipped out of the arms around her, hopped off the bed and tip toed away.  
“Where are you going?” Tegan asked, annoyed.  
“Shower.”  
There was a silence. Then Tegan moved, grabbing the comfortor and lying face down. It was cold and empty all around her. She wanted to cuddle so bad. No with anyone else, only with her confidante, her alter-ego, her Sara. Their love was pure, untouched, simple, and most importantly, a secret. The coffee machine started, the sound came from the kitchen. Quiet but fast steps made their way through the appartment. There was some clinking, more little steps, until the bedroom door creaked and the scent of coffee and Sara’s citrusy shampoo. Tegan sat up and stretched like a cat. Sara climbed on the bed with two mugs in her hands, one with a plaid pattern on it and another one with a map of Calgary on it. Sara had changed. She was wearing a long sleeved black shirt and work-out shorts. Her hair was damp and messy.   
“I made tea for you” she said, handing Tegan the Calgary cup.  
“Mhh. Thank you.”  
Sara lay against the pillows, diagonally to her sister and gave her a kiss on the forhead. “It’s a really nice day outside today. I kinda feel like going for a run. If you want to come too though. Stacy never runs with me. It’s my ‘me’ time usually.”  
“That sounds nice actually. You’ll have to lend me some running shoes, all I have is like...Doc Martens.”  
Sara sipped her coffee. “Okey dokey.”  
“You’ll probably beat me...I’m not a cardio beast,” Tegan sighed. “You talked about something last night, but maybe it was in my dream.”  
Sara grimaced and cleared her throat.  
“You said something,’ she continued.  
“Oh my god,” Sara whispered.   
“So it was for real? Is it better if I don’t say it out loud?”  
Sara tried to bring her coffee mug to her mouth but giggled awkwardly instead. She took a big gulp of it, placed it on the nightstand before sliding her body against Tegan’s under the blanket. Tegan propped herself on her elbow to look down at the blushing mess beside her.   
“I wasn’t even that drunk, and I said--”  
“I know what you said. I was falling asleep and you said it in my ear. You said...You asked if it turned me on to be all rough with you,” Tegan said, calmly.  
“Mh hm.”  
“And I started laughing, I think. And you started to laugh too. I was trying to stand up, I fell on you. There were fucking tears in your eyes from laughing so hard. I’m pretty sure we fell asleep like that. Your boob was like a little pillow for my head.”  
Sara felt herself unwind. It wasn’t awkward anymore. It was comfortable.  
“Would it turn you on if I got all rough with you?” Tegan asked.  
Sara felt a sudden throb between her legs, like all the blood and heat of her body dropped and fell right there. She was scared Tegan knew, but she told herself that they couldn’t feel each others pain so...not a chance. Sara figured she would get herself out of this easily if she didn’t mention anything.  
“It would. I mean it probably would,” Sara said, meaning to sound collected. She looked into Tegan’s eyes.  
“I bet it would. Remember one time back when we were like, twenty-two or twenty-three, we were making out, we were at your appartment and supposed to be rehearsing and I tried to sit on you but I kicked you in the guts. It was so weird because you moaned and I knew I hurt you.”  
“It’s not the pain that made me moan really, it’s the situation. If you just randomly hurt me while we were talking or something, it would just. Be painful,” Sara explained. “It’s like an adrenaline rush.”  
Tegan drank her tea. “Gotcha,” said. “I mean last night...did you mean you want me to do something? To hurt you when we have sex?”  
“If...if you want to.”  
“Like spanking? Choking? Oh my god, those nipple clamps. Those are fucking hilarious. You would probably like those.”  
Sara’s breathing hitched, like she was shivering, but it was something else. She hadn’t had any sexual contact for the whole tour and all the built up need to relieve herself, plus Tegan talking about things that excited her was making everything worst, almost agonizing. She had just come out of the shower, she was clean, and she hated herself for this. And she was going for a run later. All things considered, she probably should have post-poned the shower. 

Her thoughts spinning around, she almost didn’t hear Tegan’s question.  
“Want me to take care of that?”  
Sara sat up. “You don’t have to. We should get ready while it’s nice outside, it might rain later. Who knows.”  
“Sara,” Tegan said almost in a whisper, putting a hand on her naked thigh, “Chill.”  
Sara’s phone rang. It made both of them jump.   
“Answer it,” Tegan ordered.  
“It’s Stacy,” Sara realized. “I’m not gonna--”  
Tegan pulled on her leg to make her slide back in a lying position. “Answer the phone.”  
Sara sighed and took the phone to her ear. “Hey!”  
Tegan undid the strings of Sara’s shorts with one hand. She stroked her tummy and realized her arm hurt from propping herself up on the side, so she lay her head on Sara’s shoulder.  
“I’m good, I had a good flight. Mickey and Holiday had no more food though, the tactic of putting a bunch of food so they have enough for a while doesn’t work, ya know,” Tegan was annoyed at how calm Sara sounded. Her hand slipped in Sara’s underwear, expecting at least a squeal but she was biting her lip hard.  
“Don’t worry about anything. It’s good for me to have alone time anyways, I’m pretty worn out,” Sara said.   
Tegan easily dipped her finger in Sara, finding that she was turned on like crazy. Sara didn’t seem to react to this, so Tegan attempted another strategy. She ran her fingers over her center, spreading her and lubricating her soft folds. She was so warm and inviting and Tegan had almost forgotten what she felt like. Sara lifted her leg up and held her thigh against her chest to give Tegan a better access. Tegan grinned against the shoulder she was resting on, near the phone, but ever so quietly.   
“I’m just in bed having coffee I--”  
She drew little circles on her clit, applying some pressure, then reaching to get some of her wetness to make sure it didn’t rub.   
“Um, I was...maybe going to,” Tegan’s constant movement was starting to make Sara lose her focus. “Like, go for a run. But-but how’s your brother doing?”  
Tegan changed to back and forth movements, changing between pressing down harshly to teasing her, trying to find what would make her moan a little bit. Tegan hears Stacy chattering about something, some good news, some funny anecdote that she can’t grasp. 

Sara dropped her leg to her side, taking her fist to her mouth to bite down, not yet, but she knew what would happen if the hand in her panties kept this rythm. She wasn’t sure if her heart was beating so loudly because of Tegan or because she was scared. This sense of fear of being heard receiving pleasure turned her on to no end. It was also stressful, but her brain was fuzzy and didn’t know what to focus on. There was her girlfriend talking to her about her brother receiving his master’s degree, and there was the disgusting and immoral act happening between her and her twin. She shut her eyes and hoped her voice would obey to her thoughts.  
“Say h-hi to him for me. I gotta go, Stacy.”  
Tegan lifted herself to hover Sara. She didn’t look at her, but she licked her lips and frowned to herself, concentrated on picking up the speed. She wanted to go down on Sara so bad, she wanted to taste her and she was so wet already, it would have been ecstasy, but she decided that it would be better to see her come undone and keep doing what she was doing. Sara bit her fist sharply as she bucked her hips lightly in Tegan’s hand. Stacy would not stop talking.   
Sara felt the first little wave of please through her stomach, her spine, her legs. She tried to stop her hips from moving but she was too far gone.   
“I love you too. Bye,” she almost rasped. The phone dropped next to her and her hand went to Tegan’s hair, tugging slightly, letting her know to keep going.  
“You’re so hot when you pretend nothing’s going on,” Tegan whispered, starting to rapidly stroke Sara’s clit from side to side with her hand. She paused to bring more of her slick juice to the area, continuing the fast rythm.   
“Oh...” Sara cried, grabbing her knee.  
“Yeah...you’re gonna come for me.”  
Her back arched and her jaw dropped slightly. She was salivating, her lips looked so kissable, her arm reached back to hold on to the wooden headboard and her eyes shut. She moaned once loudly, a primal and screechy moan.  
“Shh...” hushed Tegan.   
Sara came and dripped in Tegan’s hand, her body gave one last little hump against the warm fingers and Tegan did what she had been dying to do for a long time, bringing her hand back up and tasting Sara on each of her digits.  
Sara’s breathing started getting back to normal, her eyes opened, and she slowly sat up, slicking her hair back. She urged Tegan’s head to lay on her chest. There was only the sound of Sara’s breaths and soon, Tegan had her heart right by her ear.  
“I’m wondering if we should run in Parc La Fontaine or just go around the neighborhood,” Sara said.  
“I’ve seen your neighborhood like a billion times and I’ve only been to Parc La Fontaine one time in the winter,” Tegan argued.   
“There’s some really nice places we can eat too. And dogs to pet.”  
Tegan sat up looking at her in the eyes. “Well that settles it,” she said, stretching her arms. “I’m gonna get dressed...in the bathroom. I think you should do the same.”


	2. Second

Sara was ahead of Tegan, she had been for a while, but they were both running at their own steady pace. They watched the pond as they went by and slowed down. Sara took long sips of water from her bottle and passed it to Tegan who was right behind her, stretching her elbows.  
“My meds and running are the only things that keep me sane, honestly,” Sara sighed.   
Tegan swallowed her sip and stared at Sara, leading her to continue.  
“I don’t think there’s anything that gets all the bad stuff out like moving and getting out of your comfort zone,” she trailed off.  
“Let’s just admit that those are not the only two things that keep you sane, Sara,” Tegan scoffed.  
Sara blinked. “Like what?”  
“Well me, obviously. What would you do without me?”  
“That’s an understatement...I would probably die.”   
“I’m hungry,” Tegan whined, frowning.  
Sara put her hands in the pockets of her hoodie and led to way. “We’re going to Le Parloir, I hope you don’t mind my choice.”  
Tegan followed. “Wow Sasa, you’re so rude...guests should be the one to pick,” she said with sarcasm in her voice. Sara chuckled.  
+  
“It’s a good thing we had something to eat before going to the supermarket, I never buy this much food at once, especially not after lunch.”  
They brought in three bags of groceries. “This is what it’s gonna look like when you and Stacy have babies,” Tegan said, smiling.   
“Maybe more kiddie snacks though...remember those fruit snacks?”  
Tegan put some vegetables in the fridge and laughed. “I still eat those at home.”  
“Not me! Oh my god they were so good. Good source of energy when we were rehearsing,” Sara said.   
They put the food away, except for the wine and both had a glass. Sara took a big sip and nodded to herself, delighted. Tegan walked up to her and pressed up against her gently until Sara’s back hit the counter. Tegan waited for a reaction.  
“I’m all sweaty,” she stated, and took another sip of wine, not breaking eye contact.  
“I’m all sweaty,” Tegan repeated.   
They decided to take a bath before starting to make dinner. Sara started to run it and added a bit of tea tree bubble bath. She grabbed a mat from the cupboard under the sink and placed it so the floor wouldn’t get wet. She didn’t know what this would be. Just quickly getting clean or something more? The thought that they had not seen each other undressed for a couple of months went through her mind and shocked her a little bit. Her messy hair was quickly up in an even messier ponytail, which she didn’t notice. Tegan’s steps got closer and Sara turned around to see that she was in nothing but her bra and underwear and she had a big smile on her face.   
“You dork, you’re still all dressed up,” Tegan realized.  
It made Sara chuckle and start unzipping her tight grey hoodie.  
“No let me,” she said suddenly.   
Sara looked at her slowly undo the zipper, removing the hoodie from her thin shoulders and arms, then getting to her shirt, getting it over her head, messing the ponytail even more. But Tegan didn’t find it silly, to her, it was endearing. Then on her knees, she pushed down the black leggings, careful to leave the underwear on, having a specific order of tasks when it came to taking clothes off. Sara’s face flushed when her sister stood back up to unclasp her bra. Then, on her knees again, made the pink boyshorts come off, making Sara step out of them without a sound. Their gazes met finally and Tegan marvelled at the body it front of her. She did not touch her, just stared for a little while and smiled crookedly. It was the first time in months that she was seeing this. This body she knew by heart, this temple that kept her soulmate   
“Well, get in,” Tegan almost snapped.   
The short lanky body turned around and made its way to the tub, slowly, lowering herself, Tegan stripped out of the remains of her clothing and sat quietly behind Sara. She put her shivering hands on her warm shoulders and makes her flinch, but not move away.   
“Hm...Why are you always the warm one?” Tegan sighs, moving down to hug her tummy. Her head rests on her left shoulder. Sara leans in between her legs a bit.  
“I’m not warm, I have a normal body temperature, you’re just chilly. It’s not this cold in Vancouver.”  
They missed this, without saying it, they both knew they missed this. It happened less and less. This kind of tradition always remained though; when there was a tour break, when Stacy wasn’t home, they found a little bit of time to curl up, to really talk, to touch without anyone seeing. They’ve debated whether or not this was okay, but it didn’t matter, because it felt right. It felt right to Sara to close her eyes, to let Tegan’s head fall on her. It felt right to Tegan to hold Sara close, to breathe the scent of her deeply, to think about nothing else than how much she loved her. It pained her to know she had to leave soon, but the hand on her knee changed her train of thoughts.  
“Let me turn around so I can wash your hair,” Sara said in a tiny voice.   
The water moved around while Tegan lay back on her elbows to wet her hair and Sara went to her knees to grab the shampoo on one of the shelves on the bath wall. Tegan was deceived that the bubbles covered her adorable and round backside, but she looked anyway. They sat face to face, the clear shampoo poured on Sara’s hand and she started to massage it into Tegan’s scalp, scraping with her short nails from the very top to the back, almost to her neck, then behind her ears. It made her smile when Tegan closed her eyes and sighed, almost like a purr. It was strange how they could seperate their relationship as siblings, as co-workers and as lovers. It was not complicated to them, it had been this way for so long. Not only were they used to it, but they depended on it. Their lives would crash if they lost each other. Spending months appart wasn’t a big deal because they were rational and knew it wasn’t forever. They felt like two seperate people, not one person.  
“I like it when you wash my hair,” Tegan groaned, trying to pop the bubbles.  
Sara’s grin became loopsided. “I like it when your hair isn’t dirty. It was this morning, I didn’t want to say anything,” she said. “This feels like mom said she felt when we were two and played in the mud and she gave us a bath after. I love having a clean baby. Turn around, I gotta rinse your head.”  
Tegan complied and turned her back to her sister, who was trying to get rid of the bubbles so they wouldn’t get on Tegan’s hair. Tegan lay down between Sara’s legs while holding on to the side of the bath.  
“Was it that bad? Dirty hair is just so easier to style. You just tie it up and it holds,” Tegan explained, trying to defend herself.   
Sara snorted, running her fingers through the tangles and getting rid of the shea butter shampoo.   
“Am I your baby? Ew, you never call me that,” Tegan said.  
“Are you? I don’t know. I don’t call you anything.”  
Tegan lifted her head to sit. “Teetee. You call me that.”  
“I call you that when you’re nice. I’m gonna wash your back, ‘kay?.” Sara kept Tegan between her legs by gripping her side lightly. Tegan didn’t move.   
Her skin was scrubbed and Sara’s weirdly soothing voice helped her shoulders unwind.   
“I’m gonna make some Pad thai for dinner and we can watch a movie and...have wine. You like Pad thai right? That’s why I got a bunch green onions at the store. It’s Stacy’s recipe.”  
“Well obviously. It’s like. My second favorite comfort food.” Sara reached to clean her sister’s toned arms, over her tattoos, to her shoulders and neck.   
“Mh hm. That’s what I thought,” Sara replied, sliding her left hand around Tegan, swept her soaked hair to the side and kissed her shoulder.   
“I missed you.” She was referring to their intimate relationship.   
Another delicate kiss was pressed on the protruding shoulder blade.  
“I missed you too, Teetee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks guys! Leave suggestions if you feel inspired :)


	3. Third

They both decided to watch this movie that was on TV, The Big Lebowski. Tegan had already watched it. Sara arrived from the kitchen with a wooden tray with the bowls of Pad Thai and chopsticks. Tegan followed with the wine and their glasses. They both were in their undies and oversized T-shirts. The Big Lebowski had started.  
“I really wanna go bowling,” Sara said upon seeing the bowling alley on the screen.  
Tegan took at bite of food. “Sara this is...so fucking good,” she exclaimed.  
“I know. It’s my first time making it, Stacy usually cooks at night.”  
They didn’t speak more during the movie. They laughed, more towards the end because they were getting tipsy. They emptied the bottle of red wine. Sara stood up and held up the bottle.  
“It’s empty...I’m so sad...Tegan, we drank it all,” she cried out with a lisp.  
“There’s another bottle in the fridge, remember we bought two?”  
“Oh.” Sara quickly walked to the kitchen. While she walked back, the popping sound of the cork being pulled out made Tegan look in her direction.  
“You want a refill too?” she asked quietly. Her back was to her.  
Tegan was looking at her pale and smooth thighs. “Yes, please.”  
“I’m tryin’ not to spill anything.”  
“You better not. You only had half a bottle, what’s it gonna look like when you have another glass?”  
A dry chuckle came from Sara.  
“What underwear are you wearing?” Tegan wondered out loud.  
Sara turned around and passed a glass to her. She then lifted the hem of the worn out T-shirt to reveal grey Calvin Klein panties and clumsily spun around. Tegan tried to hide her grin.  
“Come sit on me.” She straightened her back and uncrossed her legs to let Sara sit astride her.  
Quietly Sara put her hands on her twin’s shoulders and settled in her lap with her thong being the only barrier between her core and Tegan’s left thigh.  
“It’s the ending credits. It’s so dark I can barely see your face,” Tegan said, her voice breaking a little at the end. She pushed a rebelious strand of hair that had fallen from Sara’s ponytail.  
“I’m here though,” she assured. She took Tegan’s hand and placed it on her jaw, letting her thumb carress the skin of her chin. “See?”  
“I see you.” her thumb continued to roam over her soft open mouth. “You’re so warm. I love how warm you feel there.” The thigh against Sara moved up ever so slightly, nudging her most private area.  
Tegan found the turned up nose and ran her index along it, then up to her eyebrow. She felt the lashes blink.  
“You should drink,” Sara said, seeming absent. So Tegan did and placed the glass on the lamp table next to the couch.  
She felt the alcohol buzz in her head and started to smile.  
“What is it?” Sara giggled shyly.  
“I want...you on your bed, on your tummy. With a pillow under you. With all your clothes off. And...” she paused to clear her voice, with one hand holding her sister’s side, the other trying to get her messy hair to slick back. “...and I’ll eat you out until you’re wet enough. You know what else?”  
Sara shook her head.  
“I’m gonna fit all my fingers in that tight cunt you have. Maybe I’ll use the strap on. Depends if you’re up to it. It’s going to feel so good, you won’t want to stop.”  
There was a silence only filled by Sara breathing in and trying to figure if Tegan would let her do what she wants or if everything had to be as she said.  
“C’mon Sara, don’t fight it.”  
The leg against her ready and wanting core slightly shifted. Sara took this as a sign to rub herself on it. She did so while holding on to Tegan’s shoulder and rolling her hips as hard as she could. Her brain was in a drunken haze, she closed her eyes trying to focus. A small grunt escaped her open mouth. Tegan stared at her and tried to make eye contact but the eyes she tried to capture wouldn’t meet hers.  
“Try it like this,” Tegan whispered.  
She grabbed her hips and gently brought them to grind against her own. Sara felt butterflies in her stomach when Tegan made her rub herself on her pelvis. She liked to be controlled like this, she liked to pretend she was just a body with nothing in it, just letting herself be used.  
“Tegan...” Sara squealed in a whisper when her clit was throbbing, almost vibrating against her sister, continuing to move.  
“You want my fingers in you? You want me to stretch you out like that’s all you’re good for?”  
Sara’s eyes fluttered open and she smiled. “Yes...”  
“Are you drunk, Sasa?”  
The hips stopped moving. “Kind of. A little bit I guess,” she admitted.  
“I think I need a bit more to drink,” she said. “Get off me.”  
Sara went back to her feet and stepped back, letting Tegan take a few sips and stand up. They walked to the bedroom in silence and when they arrived, Tegan grabbed Sara and pushed her harshly against the wall. Their lips met and crashed, they tilted their heads in sync trying to deepen the kiss. Sara placed her hands on the sides of Tegan’s face.  
“You make me so wet,” Tegan breathed between kisses.  
Sara sighed loudly, and her twin’s mouth moved to her jaw.  
“Am I...” she started, but stopped when teeth began to roam her neck. “Am I the only one who does that?”  
“Yeah.”  
The mouth left and Tegan took her by the wrist to sit on the edge of the bed and watched her clumsily get out of her panties, chuckling when they fell on the floor.  
“That was so hot when you rubbed yourself on me,” Tegan said, crawling between Sara’s legs and pushing her further on the bed “You're so fucking desperate when you're drunk.”  
Sara sat up on her elbows to give Tegan and small peck. “I want you to fuck me but I’m just warning you. I'm really tired right now.”  
“It’s fine. Just lay on your tummy. You have nothing else to do. Keep your top on if you’re cold.”  
Sara went up for another kiss, this one a bit longer. “I'm making you do all the work?”  
“No. I want to do all the work,” Tegan assured.  
“Okay but. No strap-on tonight.”  
“Agreed.”  
Tegan let her take a pillow and lay herself comfortably. She waited on the corner of the bed chewing her nails until the shuffling stopped and she raised her voice.  
“Ready?” she asked, hurrying to sit between her legs and placed a hand on her t-shirt clad behind.  
“Uh huh.”  
Tegan shoved the t-shirt upwards. “You'll have to lift your butt a little bit when I'm eating you out.”  
Sara obliged, giving her sister the most wonderful view of her pink and wet cunt. Tegan lay propped up on her arms, her face inches away. She kissed the warm swollen lips, bringing her tongue to taste what she had been longing for months. She closed her eyes in pure lust. She could seriously do this all day if Sara let her. The best part of it was stimulating her without even brushing her clit. Only after a long and painful while, she sucked on the sensitive spot. She circled her entrance a few times with her tongue. Sara remained silent, her head against the blanket, breathing deeply and savouring as much, if not more than Tegan.  
Sara felt the warm tongue travel up. Tegan decided to play dangerously but she knew Sara could never get enough of it. She used her right hand to spread her ass cheek. Sara moaned loudly, not expecting this kind of contact.  
“Such a slut.”  
Her toes curled. Tegan kept on licking around her asshole until it glistened with her saliva. She lowered her head back to the slit, lapping it with the flat of her tongue. Sara’s breathing became hitched and loud. Tegan decided she was wet enough but at the last minute caught her clit in her mouth and sucked once, hard. Sara gripped the sheets underneath her.  
“Settle down,” Tegan whispered. She got up on her knees and caressed the skin of her thighs that had just stopped shaking. Her hands grazed up to her ass and her lower back. She applied a small amount of pressure to make sure she was lying comfortably. Sara turned her head and they looked at each other in the eyes for a moment. Tegan suddenly slid her middle finger inside Sara, thrusting it a few times before inserting a second one. Sara’s legs parted a bit more to help her grind against Tegan’s hand. They were totally in sync and knew what the other wanted. Even under the effect of alcohol they sensed the vibes and the energy that the other felt. In a way, there was a sort of telepathy between them. Sara needed above all to be filled to the brim. She liked to take turns. She wanted dirty talk. And apparently she liked pain too.  
“Mmm,” Sara grunted. A quarter second later, she felt and heard a sharp slap to her backside.  
“How about that?” Tegan asked, speeding her hand and adding a third finger.  
“Tegan...again,” she moaned. “Please.”  
So, she did, harder this time. It was getting easier and easier for Tegan to finger Sara, she almost didn’t need to wait a while for her to stretch out around her. The next spank came along, followed by a final fourth finger, the pinky. She felt the walls suddenly tighten and pulsate. Sara’s moans became louder and desperate, her hips rolling to get Tegan’s hand as deep as possible. Tegan bit her lip, satisfied at the sight of the redness appearing on her sister’s ass, it was the most adorable thing she had seen today. When she knew Sara was close to coming, she slapped it again, as hard as she could. It made her clit throb just seeing the body below her writhe in a mix of pain and pleasure. Tegan pulled out and wiped her hand on Sara’s shirt. They lay down on their sides face to face, Tegan’s arms around Sara. The smell of sex in the bedroom was palpable and it came from both of them.  
“Happy?” Tegan asked.  
“Oh gosh,” she started. “Fuck yeah.”  
“I like being all rough with you.”  
“Me too,” Sara whispered, kissing Tegan on the throat. Her arm snaked under her t-shirt to meet the warm skin.  
“I love you.”  
Sara closed her eyes and sighed deeply, cuddling against Tegan’s chest. “I love you too.”  
“Good night, sleep tight.”  
“Night-night.”


	4. Fourth

The next morning, the tiny line of light peaking through the curtains contrasted with the complete darkness of the bedroom. There was a bit of warmth from the heater, but the warmest thing in the room was undoubtedly the two bodies, sleeping against each other, spooning. Sara held Tegan protectively, who was curled up in a fetal position, snorring quietly. Sara woke up with hair in her face. She rolled away from her sister and stretched before returning to her spot and pressing herself against Tegan’s back. She rubbed her side to wake her up without startling her too much.   
“It’s morning,” she whispered.  
“No...” Tegan grunted.  
“Good morning, good morning,” Sara started singing.  
“Shh...”  
“Don’t be grumpy with me in the morning,” Sara said, pouting.  
Tegan could hear her pout so she turned around to face her. It was kind of dark but she could see her. Their lips joined for a short and tender kiss. Then another one, a bit longer. They looked into each other’s eyes, trying to read something, anything. Sara went ahead and kissed the bed-headed girl again but added force, sliding her tongue in her mouth. Tegan did the same and sucked on Sara’s tongue. She felt Sara smile between kisses, and they kept on. Sara wanted to get Tegan ready for their first activity of the day. She started to skim her hand over her shirt covered back down to her ass. They continued to kiss while Tegan put her cold hands under Sara’s t-shirt.  
“Tee...” she said giggling. “Your hands are so cold.”  
“I know, I’m warming them up,” Tegan responded. “Keep kissing me.”  
And she did, getting the kiss more and more passionate, tilting her head to kiss Tegan deeper, carressing her tongue. Sara’s hand lifted the fabric from the other woman’s backside to uncover the lace underwear.  
“Someone went to Victoria’s Secret,” she teased, disoconnecting their lips.  
Tegan blushed. “You like them?” she said, trying to sound collected.  
“Let me see.”   
Sara pushed Tegan on her back and climbed on top of her.  
“I like them. You look hot.” She touched the delicate black lace.  
Tegan was starting to feel all hot and bothered. Sara could tell because her face and chest went pink. She sat upright to kiss Sara who helped her out of her t-shirt. Her exposed breasts covered in goosebumps and she shivered.  
“Get under the blankets,” Sara said.  
“Okay.”  
“First take these off.”  
Tegan slipped out of the underwear quickly and soon she was lying under the warmth of the white duvets. Sara took her own shirt off just as fast before joining her sister, and sat between her legs, hovering her body.   
“Hm, I missed your boobies,” she slurred, glancing at them and lifting her eyebrows at Tegan.   
Tegan smiled and put her hands on Sara’s face. “I love you.”  
“I love you too.” Sara kissed Tegan, a small peck on the lips. Then, she lowered her head to her right breast, taking the hard nipple in her mouth.  
“Sara!” Tegan squealed.  
Sara looked up at her with puppy eyes, sucking and swirling her tongue. She released it and nuzzled at the left breast while kneading the first one with her hand, digging her nails in the skin. Sara’s nose was starting to tickle Tegan so she squirmed under her touch. Tegan’s skin was so soft and smelled like heaven and Sara just wanted to rub her face on her boobs all day. She noted the movement under her and bit the nipple in front of her. Tegan gasped.   
“Quit teasing me and get to it,” She sighed.   
Sara went back up to meet her eyes. “Nuh uh, this is too fun.” Her hand slowly went down to carress Tegan’s flat stomach, making her buck her hips. “Ugh, Tegan why can’t you be nice once in a while?”  
She rolled her eyes at the comment. “Cuz I’m horny, that’s why.”  
Sara’s head disappeared in the crook of Tegan’s neck. “You wanna be fucked?”  
“Yes...please,” she breathed, wrapping her arms around her sister.  
“You want me to fuck you? With my cock?”  
Tegan’s eyes widened and she pulled Sara back up, stopping the soft kisses.   
“What?” Sara said.  
“You haven’t...put that on in like. Two years.”  
“Well, you wanna or no?”  
“Yeah, of course.”  
Tegan lay back while Sara was finding the toy. She heard some fumbling and sounds of zippers coming from the closet. Her heart was pounding and the butterflies in her stomach were making her feel like she was going to explode. They hadn’t done this in a really long time. For a while they did while they were in their early thirties and were spending more time alone together. It was Sara’s idea and she was always the one using it on Tegan.   
“Is this okay? Too big?”  
It was an 8 inch purple feldoe.   
Tegan’s voice was shaky when she spoke up. “Um, yeah, cool.”  
She watched as her nude twin put the smaller side of the toy inside of her, grunting a little, probably a bit sore from the sex they had last night. She undid her ponytail seductively (in the eyes of Tegan), stepped on the bed and grinned when she saw that her sister was looking straight at her nervously, licking her lips. Tegan uncovered her body and took a few seconds to put another pillow for her head to rest.  
“Knees up ma’am!” Sara ordered, sitting between Tegan’s legs.  
And she did, completely exposing herself. Sara licked her fingers and placed them at Tegan’s entrance, never breaking eye contact. She was already so wet and needy of touch, Sara was just checking. The digits went inside her. Sara immediately noted how tight she was. She was concerned with Tegan’s nervous glare. Her face seemed torn between pleasure and anxiety as she sighed quietly, feeling the two fingers explore her walls.  
“Is this okay?” Sara asked, taking the feldoe and running it over her clit a few times.  
Tegan nodded.   
Sara started to penetrate her and got three inches in before Tegan yelped.  
“Ouch! Wait, stop.”  
“What’s wrong?”  
“I don’t know...It feels weird, I don’t know why.”  
“I don’t know, you seemed really turned on when I was on top of you and I touched you,” Sara said. She put her fingers back to the pink slit. “You’re really wet.”  
Tegan hummed, biting her lip.   
Sara kept working her index and middle finger up and down.   
Tegan grabbed her wrist. “Try again but go slow. Like the first time, remember?”  
“Okay but tell me if it hurts.”  
“Okay.”  
So she did. Very slowly, thrusting a tiny bit at a time.   
“Try to relax, Tee,” Sara suggested. She put her hand on Tegan’s ribcage for leverage. After only a few minutes, a moan came out of her mouth while the purple cock was halfway inside her, making a slick sound with every pump. It was hitting the perfect spot, right at the top on her g-spot. Sara was still upright on her knees, rolling her hips at a comfortable pace. Hearing Tegan’s breath getting ragged encouraged her to go deeper, and when their skin finally met, when it was fully in her, Sara stopped thrusting to change her position and hover Tegan, grabbing her thigh to bring it up. Tegan lifted herself a bit to be only milimeters away from her sister’s face. Suddenly, the thrusts kept on, slow and steady again. Tegan felt overwhelmed by all this attention on her, being so vulnerable to her dominant twin who seemed so in control, so calm and so unbelievably sensual in her movements. She looked so pale and beautiful. Her hair hid one of her eyes, she was biting her teeth and was quietly grunting.  
“How does that feel?” Sara wondered, looking down at her.  
“Good, so good,” Tegan said, her voice weak.  
Sara carressed the thigh she was holding. “Uh huh? You’re so fucking tight.”  
The constant rythm made Tegan moan and grab Sara’s shoulder, digging in with her nails. This time, Sara moaned and started to thrust faster.  
“Sara...”   
She lay down on Tegan, their breasts pressed against each other, their hip bones brushing. Sara sucked on her neck and groaned loudly in pleasure when she felt nails scratching her back, it was the most wonderful kind of pain. Her own g-spot was being hit every time she pulled out even slightly, the part of the toy inside her pushing against her walls. After a few hickeys were formed, she started giving harder thrusts, knowing it would bring Tegan to the edge. Her lips made their way to her jaw, her ear, and her cheekbone. The mixture of the squeals and the moans with the clawing at her shoulderblades was driving her wild. Sara almost felt undeserving of this. She wondered for a moment if Tegan knew how much she loved her and loved this. Did she really know? How could she possibly--  
“I’m close,” she said after a while.  
Sara blinked, feeling woken up. She brought her hand between them, continuing the small kisses on Tegan’s jaw.   
Tegan felt her clit getting stimulated all while being fucked. She hadn’t been done this hard in so long. She grabbed Sara’s skin again.  
“There yet?” Sara whispered.  
At that moment, a wave of pure euphoria climbed Tegan’s spine, her legs, her arms, everything was invaded with this almost painful feeling of being complete. Her knees were shaky when Sara stopped moving and collapsed, humming on her sister’s collarbone. The feldoe remained inside both of them.


	5. Fifth

And they lay like that in the most peaceful and agreeable silence on earth. Tegan felt bad that Sara saw her being hurt while they were having sex. It had been a long time and she wasn’t big on masturbation. No one had...Been in her with something like that in well--not since Sara stopped. She enjoyed it though. Not just that, but at any time Sara was being dominant, she would go nuts. It was a side of Sara that didn’t seem to exist at all outside of the bedroom. It was so strange to always be in charge in a relationship, always be the loud one, the responsible one and then suddenly when the door was shut, the roles switched. Tegan liked to lay back and let things happen. What Sara said went, whatever it was.   
“Sasa, you sleeping?” she said, carressing her back.  
“Hm?” Sara lifted herself to face Tegan. “No, I thought you liked it when I stayed in a bit.”  
Tegan’s cheeks redened and she smiled. “I do like it, yeah.”  
Sara smiled and began to place feather-light kisses on her sister’s chest and shoulders. The skin shivered in delight. Her lips touched every freckle and mark. Tegan relaxed her legs and tried to tangle them with the other pair. She was thankful for this skin-to-skin moment.  
“By the way, did you get to come?”  
Sara stopped. “No.”  
“I know I didn’t last very long,” Tegan recalled.  
“It’s okay, that wasn’t the goal anyways,” she said, pressing her pelvis down. “You haven’t had someone as big as me in a while, Eh?”   
Tegan started to laugh. “I’ve been...Yeah you’re right.”  
“Is it only me who makes you moan like that? It’s so cute when you do.”  
“Do what?”  
“You go like...” Sara closed her eyes and dropped her jaw, immitating Tegan. “Sara...Sara...” she moaned, mockingly.   
“Shut the fuck up, Sara Quin,” Tegan said and tickled her sister’s sides.  
She started to laugh and tried to pry the hands off her, but to shut her up, Tegan’s lips met her’s. The tickling stopped and she circled her twin’s body with her arms, urging to have her close, to feel her weight. Their exchange was chaste and sweet. They pulled away to look at each other. Tegan bit her lip and spread her legs, hoping it would be a clear message for Sara. And it was. She saw it in her expression, how needy she was at that moment. For Tegan it was all or nothing. She went from being the most sexual creature to the complete opposite. And right now she was craving more release. Sara remained in her position and simply began to roll her hips deep but slow. The small noises of the in-and-out motion let Sara know that Tegan was still dripping with her own fluids. Sara was enjoying the feeling of their breasts against each other and the roaming of hands on her back.  
“Hey, I was thinking...” Sara said in a low voice, as if someone could hear them.  
Tegan looked at her quizzically and moaned. It amused Sara to conversate randomly like this.  
“Last night, you really wanted to fuck me with the strap-on?”  
“Yeah, totally. You were the one talking about the whole...pain thing. I thought you would have liked that. Being submissive.”  
Sara pulled out completely and rammed herself back in. “I did like...the spanking.” She repeted the movement, shaking the bed a little and making Tegan gasp. “Not so much to be dominated. I mean it’s nice--” she continued, keeping her pace that was making Tegan breathe hard. “--when we switch roles...especially when I’m tired. But I prefer this.”  
A little laugh seeped out through her ragged breath. “You know what?”  
Sara began to slowly roll against Tegan’s core again with enough friction to pleasure her aching clit. “What?”  
Tegan flipped them over in the blink of an eye. Sara looked at her in shock. “I’m gonna do what I want--” Tegan said, pinning her down. “--And you’re gonna come.”  
She moved herself to rub Sara the right way and push the part of the feldoe inside her upwards. Sara’s hips arched slightly, understanding what Tegan was trying to do.  
“I admire your dedication,” Sara remarked.  
Tegan let go of her arms and started palming one of Sara’s breasts harshly. Sara moaned loudly. They continued the rythm, both focusing on each other’s orgasm. Tegan sensed that it was going to happen soon, seeing Sara throw her head back and grip the sheets. She slapped the tit she had been playing with and thrust a few final times while Sara yelped and tried to catch her breath. Tegan slid herself off of the shaft which was covered in her come. She unstraddled Sara, smiling at the sight of the feldoe still in her, standing, and the rise and fall of her chest.  
“Let’s get that out of you,” Tegan said. She took the toy in her hand and removed it, making a slick sound and revealing that Sara had also enjoyed their morning.  
“You didn’t come this time,” Sara noted, sitting up.  
Tegan threw the toy at the end of the bed. “Doesn’t matter. Let’s go have some coffee.”


	6. Sixth

“Gotta call Stacy, Gotta call Stacy,” Sara chanted while putting on her sweatshirt. She and Tegan left the bedroom, Tegan was only wearing one of Sara’s bathrobes as she followed.   
Sara turned on the coffee machine and got the sugar and milk out. She put the phone to her ear and put food in Holiday and Mickey’s bowls. They heard the clinking sounds and ran to the kitchen. Tegan sat on the counter, watching the cats eat.   
“Hi baby!” Sara almost shouted, making Tegan jump.  
After a moment, Tegan was able to space out, to really look at this appartment, this kitchen. The cactuses in the window, the light blue walls, the details on the cupboards, the liquor bottles in their cute little tray, the dirty dishes in the sink, the fruit bowl on top of the fridge, the kitties eating together. She sat there and wondered if it would be possible that she could be part of all this. If she could be with Sara like this. If this was their home. Of course, it wouldn’t totally look like this but it would be similar. Maybe a bit less minimalist, more useless cooking gadgets. She wondered what it would be like to wake up, have morning sex, have coffee. That every morning without the need to hide it. If they had come from different wombs, from different places, maybe. Maybe in another life or another world they would meet again and it would be just like Tegan imagined. Like how she had imagined since she was a teenager. She felt constantly attached to her sister. Not just when they were passionately making love or exploring each other’s bodies, but in any other context. She felt attached by an invisible chain. It wasn’t one or the other who could untie it. It was a bond for life.  
“I miss you. Me and the kids miss you. I know. I’m gonna see you soon. I know. Love you too. Bye.”  
Tegan was suddenly filled with a strange sadness. She tried to chase it away but it stayed.  
Sara started humming happily and poured a cup for Tegan, added a bit of milk and sugar and passed it to her. She did the same for her own. Sara leaned against the counter with her hip and took a little sip of coffee while looking at Tegan.  
“Like your coffee?” she asked.  
Tegan was looking at the floor, frowning.  
“Tee?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Good coffee?”  
“Yeah. I mean, I haven’t had any yet,” Tegan realized and took the cup in her hands.  
“I thought that today we might stay inside. Maybe practice old stuff on the guitar...binge watch a TV show. Either How To Get Away with Murder or Stranger Things. We can cuddle all day and talk. And tonight...well. Whatever we do at night,”  
Tegan drank her coffee, considering Sara’s proposition.   
“Do you want to watch How To Get Away with Murder or Stranger Things?” Sara asked. Her glare was still not returned by Tegan.  
“I mean. I don’t know, which one do you want?” Tegan said, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible. She was almost faking a smile, looking in Sara’s direction but not at her.  
“Tee, we don’t have to do that if you don’t want to. It’s still early. Do you want to go out for breakfast?” Sara wasn’t sure if Tegan was in a bad mood suddenly or if she had something on her mind. She didn’t want to accuse her or question her, so she was trying to distract her.  
Tegan finally set her eyes on her. “Yeah.”  
“At the vegan place you like?”  
“Yeah, sounds good.”

They got dressed for the day and put on hats and gloves to fight the cold weather. The sun was shining but Tegan’s mood didn’t seem to be changing. Sara took her hand and swung it around. She was in a really good mood. Morning sex did that to her. She wasn’t even thinking about it but it gave her this energy and glow that Tegan couldn’t seem to catch. They crossed the street and Sara gave her a playful peck on the cheek.  
“Sara! We’re in public,” she scowled.   
“I don’t see anyone,” Sara replied, seemingly amused.   
They didn’t say anything until they approached the restaurant. It was small and cozy and Tegan had been there often with Sara.   
“Here we are,” Sara said as they entered.   
They were assigned a table next the glass wall. Sara took her sister’s coat off and put it on her chair. They sat in front of each other, checking the menu. Tegan fumbled with her hands nervously, looking no different than she did a couple of minutes ago.  
“I’m having...blueberry pancakes and a chai latte. What about you Tee?”  
“Um,” Tegan said, playing with her hair. “Same thing.”  
They quickly called the waiter and ordered. They had been up for quite some time so they were getting pretty hungry.  
“Tegan, what’s wrong?”  
“What?”  
“What’s the matter? Why are you acting so...”  
“So what?”  
Sara sighed. “I don’t know. You look like you have something on your mind.”  
Tegan rested her head on her fist and took long breaths, figuring out what to say. Every time it was the same thing. She would get jealous. It was the way it was. So fucking painful.  
“I’m...sad.”  
Sara’s whole face falls back into a neutral expression. “Why are you sad?”  
Silence.  
“Is it something I said when we were--in bed this morning?” Sara asked, urgently.  
Tegan shook her head and looked down.  
“Then what? What is it?”  
Tegan rubbed her eyes, preparing for tears. They probably wouldn’t come but she was ready. “It’s the same thing that always happens, Sara.”  
Sara blinked a few times, frowning at her sister. They didn’t say anything until they made eye contact again.  
“Stacy?” Sara said, almost in a whisper.  
Tegan nodded hastily, rubbing her hands together. The waiter came to their table with their lattes.  
“It’s always like this. I hear you guys talk and I just can’t get over it. It’s too much,” Tegan blurted.  
“You know I love you more than anything? Don’t you know that?”  
Tegan shook her head. “I don’t.”  
“Well I do. I love you so much that it breaks my heart. Why don’t you believe me?”  
“Because you settled down with Stacy and not with me. I’m the side joint. You know it.”  
“Don’t fucking say that Tegan Quin!” Sara uttered, frustrated. Sara looked around to make sure the few people in the restaurant weren’t too close to them. “I settled down with Stacy because I had to. I need balance in my life. You can’t give me that. If people knew we were incestuous--”  
“Ew, why did you say that?” Tegan complained.  
“--If people knew we were incestuous,” she lowered her voice pronouncing the taboo word. “We would have a really hard time. People would reject us. It’s not legal. It disgusts people. Would you give up everything we’ve accomplished? We’re artists, Tegan. We’re musicians. People watch everything we do.”  
“Emy knows,” Tegan said, rolling her eyes.   
“No she doesn’t,” Sara snapped, confused at what her sister had just said.  
“Come on. She sees us cuddle all the time and she talks about us like we’re a couple.”  
“Okay, whatever--by the way, we are a couple,” Sara whispered. She grabbed Tegan’s hand that was lying on the table. “I’ve always loved you. Tegan, look at me for a sec.”  
Tegan’s eyes were glossy with tears but she kept blinking them away. She finally set her eyes on Sara’s.  
“I’ve always loved you. Since forever. And I always will. I see you exactly the same as when I held your hand in that dusty tattoo parlor where you got your labret piercing.”  
The words felt heavy in Tegan’s ears. They wrapped her up in a temporary blanket. Any other girl would grow tired and give up on Tegan’s anxiety. But it was Sara and she wasn’t like any other girl. She was the only one. She felt a soft thumb carress her palm, then let go of her. A few seconds later, their food arrived. Sara smiled and thanked the waiter, but then immediately brought her attention back to the person in front of her. Tegan pushed her hair behind her ears and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her cardigan.  
“What can I do to make it better?” She asked in the most gentle voice.  
“Um...What you said earlier,” Tegan mumbled, digging into her plate.  
“Earlier? Watch How To Get Away with Murder?”  
“Yes. And hold me.”


	7. Seventh

They arrived home and took off their coats, scarves and hats. Sara couldn’t help but smile at red cheeked and sniffly nosed Tegan who had just come back from the cold. She brought her in her arms and kissed her frozen cheeks. Tegan leaned forward and rubbed her face on Sara’s cheek.   
They hurried to the living room where Holiday and Mickey were laying around on the floor. Sara placed some pillows at the end of the couch and lay her head on it.  
“Get that blanket, come on top of me,” she said.   
Tegan proceeded, grabbing the white fleece blanket and crawling to Sara, lying between her legs, her head under Sara’s chin. Their stomachs were against each other, their hips were connected, Sara’s arm was over her sister. She pulled the cozy blanket over Tegan’s shoulders and grabbed the remote to turn on the television. A couple of seconds later, the first episode started. The characters talking were on a low volume, filling the silent room. Tegan felt her eyes sting a little from her crying earlier, but she felt content and safer than ever. The arm over her back could protect her from anything. It was her little heaven for the moment. Later it would be with her fingers in Sara or something like that. Ever since the existence of Netflix, they had found the joy of cuddling and binge watching shows. Sometimes half paying attention to the storyline and half falling asleep. Sleeping in your twin’s arms was something out of this world. It was like a rebirth. They had formed seperately but belonged together. They should have been one, but that’s not how it turned out. Everything happens for a reason.

Sara felt the calming weight of her sister on her body, so warm and breathing so quietly. She wondered why Tegan couldn’t just get over Stacy being in the middle of them. Stacy was always going to be there. There were countless arguments about how this love is “different” and how Stacy was no better than Tegan, how Sara couldn’t let go of one or the other.  
“I have to tell you something.”  
Tegan looked up but didn’t move her head. “What?” she asked.  
“I just want you to know. You’re the one I love most,” Sara said, her eyes still on the television.  
What she said was vague. Tegan didn’t really know what she meant by that. Was it in relation to the tension they had this morning? Or was Sara just saying that she loved her?  
Tegan lifted herself up a little and lightly kissed Sara’s cheek. And whispered, “me too.”  
She settled back into her original position against Sara’s chest.   
“My boobs love you,” Sara giggled, feeling the slight weight on her.  
Tegan smiled. “I love them too.” She rubbed her cheek to express her love.  
Sara brought one of her hands up to stroke Tegans tangled hair. She pulled out the tangles and scratched her scalp.  
“You really think Emy knows about us?”  
“Positive.”  
“How though? It’s weird. I never noticed her notice us,” Sara questioned.  
“Well only a few years ago, she started saying stuff like ‘you and Sara are gonna want to be alone after the show’ and ‘you guys are so cute’. One time we were watching The Good Wife and I had my arm around you she stared at us for a little while and she was smiling. Just little things like that. It hasn’t been that long though.”  
“Do you think she minds?”  
“No. She loves us no matter what.”  
The hair petting stopped. “What about mom?”  
“Mom doesn’t know,” Tegan said monotonely.  
“How are you sure?”  
Tegan lifted herself to have her face above Sara’s. “Mom doesn’t know and will never know. Neither will dad. Or the rest of our family.”  
Sara rolled her eyes and placed her hands on Tegan’s hips. “I’m asking for fun, you dummy. Of course she never will.”  
Tegan didn’t move. She looked around awkwardly, frowning.  
“Get back here,” Sara muttered, pulling her sister back down.  
Tegan lowered herself, her face in the crook of Sara’s neck. There was a silence between them but the show kept it’s course. The character’s chattered to dramatic music for a few minutes before Tegan nudged the neck she snuggled to with her nose. She did this a couple of times until she heard a low sigh escape from Sara. Her hand went from her hip to her behind. Feeling this, Tegan rubbed her nose again.  
“What do you want to do tonight?,” Sara asked.  
“Um...whatever you wanna do.”  
Sara swallowed. “I was thinking maybe... if you feel like it, we could try that thing I talked to you about.”  
“What thing?” Tegan asked.  
“Well the rough thing.”  
“Rough thing?” Tegan placed a few kisses on her twin’s neck, making almost no noise. “Not soft like this?”  
“You know what I mean...” Sara hushed.  
Tegan kissed her soft earlobe. “Don’t you remember last night? And this morning? That was pretty rough.”  
“I guess yeah.”  
“What was up with you this morning? You were like “I wanna be dominant” and now you’re like “be rough”. Which is the real Sara?”  
Sara laughed. “I don’t know! I wanna switch and try things sometimes. It’s less scary being on top honestly.”  
“Are you kidding?” Tegan said, propping herself back on her elbows again. “Being on top is way more stressful.”  
“...Says the girl who always leads the way.”  
“You mean in real life? I was born first, its just a personality trait. I’m a leader.”  
“So be like that with me! I love it when you take initiatives. Like this morning or last night.” Sara pulled Tegan back down again.  
Tegan brushed her lips on the goosebumps on Sara’s collarbone. “Hm...I wonder what I’m gonna do to you...”  
“Not right now, Tee. Keep that in your head.”  
Kisses were placed along the protruding bone. One, two, three, four, five... all chaste and innocent. Then the mouth opened for a wet kiss on Sara’s throat. She squirmed and yelped.  
“Don’t do that! What the heck are you doing?” she asked.  
“I’m cuddling. This is cuddling right?”  
“You sound like one of the pervy guys I used to date in highschool,” Sara groaned.  
Sara sat up and fixed the pillow behind her head. Tegan figured they were changing positions so she took the blanket and covered herself, sitting with her back against Sara’s front. They watched the television intently even though they knew what was going on, having watched the show multiple times.   
“You’re so good at cuddling,” Tegan commented.  
“I learn from the best,” Sara said, pressing her lips on her twin’s temple.


	8. Eighth

Sara went to the kitchen during the afternoon to make sandwiches and grab soda from the fridge. She cut up some avocado, some cheese and turkey and suddenly decided she would need the panini press. She got it out from the cupboard and waited for it to warm up while sipping on her coke. Sara looked at the sink and remembered what they had left in the bedroom this morning. She wasn’t sure if they would use it again or if Stacy would be the next one receiving it, so she thought it would be a good idea to clean it. 

Using some dish soap, she lathered up the toy and ran warm water over it. Of course, she kept an eye on the food getting grilled. She grins slightly, thinking about fucking her sister with the feldoe this morning.  
“Sara!”  
She looked toward the living room. “What?”  
“I’m hungry!” she yells.  
“It won’t be long,” she replied, almost not loudly enough. Holding the feldoe and feeling the softness of it, her imagination started to run a bit too loudly. She simply placed it on the side of the sink to dry. The sandwiches were ready, so she took them along with the cokes on a tray and walked to the living room.  
“This is the episode where we see how he killed that girl, it still makes me panic,” Tegan said, staring at the TV, legs and arms crossed.  
Sara put the platter down on the table and carefully got on her knees, crawling to Tegan.  
“Um, what are you doing?” she asked, nervously.  
“Nothing,” Sara quietly answered. Her hands went to the crossed knees, spreading them only a few inches appart.  
Tegan’s heart lept in surprise. Sara placed her palm against the denim over Tegan’s crotch and pressed. Tegan took her face to make her look up. She stroked the skin of her cheek. They looked at each other with quizzical glares. Sara bit her lower lip and rubbed her palm up and down roughly. Tegan nodded, almost indistinguishably. The rythm kept going for several seconds. The sensation was pleasant but wasn’t causing enough friction. Tegan started to unbutton her jeans and Sara immediately helped out. Tegan was left in her black t-shirt, underwear and socks. Hands wrapped around her thighs, pulling her to the edge of the couch. Sara saw the tiniest wet spot in the middle of her blue panties. It made her smile crookedly and lick her lips while bending her head between Tegan’s legs. She nuzzled closely and took a deep breath, taking in the wonderful scent of her arousal. Her nose bumped against the throbbing clit under the thin fabric. Tegan hated this teasing, it frustrated her to no end. Her face was red with lust and she gritted her teeth.  
“Mmh...” Sara hummed. She kissed her inner thigh lovingly two times and returned to the center. Her nose bumped in again, on purpose. She moved it around a bit, waiting for a sound to come out of her twin.  
“Ah...enough,” is all she could mutter.  
“Lift your butt,” Sara ordered, gripping the panties. In no time they were left on the floor.  
She took a good look at Tegan’s shaved slit, with only a small patch of hair on the mound. She caught her boney knees to part them and ran her hands across her thighs, all while contemplating her center.  
“You smell so fucking good,” Sara said, lowering down her face between Tegan’s thighs. She lapped at her pink lips like a kitten, her head bobbing up and down.  
Tegan smiled and lifted her head straight to watch the television. She felt fingertips pass under her shirt and draw little circles around her belly button. Sara's head made sideway movements, like she was shaking her head to say ‘no’. Then her head went ‘yes’, still with her tongue all out. She tilted her head and started kissing her, taking her lips in her mouth and dipping her tongue inside her slightly. She kept her eyes open at first but they rolled back into her head and they were shut. The taste was almost intoxicating her. She pointed her tongue and teased the hardened clit. Tegan’s hand quickly went to her head, caressing through her tangles.  
“Sara, don’t tease me,” she whimpered.  
Sara left her clit alone and licked her sister’s soaking entrance instead, swirling her tongue and barely penetrating her. She was getting what she wanted, the tangy fluid that only Tegan had. She always tasted the same.  
“Come on...” Tegan wined again, gripping at Sara’s hair.  
Suddenly, Sara took her throbbing clit in her mouth, sucking hard and quickly releasing, and received a loud gasp from Tegan. Sara grabbed her thighs to stabilize herself, opened her mouth and put her lips on her sister’s dripping cunt. Tegan felt like she was really in Sara’s mouth, like she belonged there. She bucked her hips without noticing. The soft tongue massaged her folds, circling her, lapping, pressing.  
“Mmh...” Sara moaned deeply, sending vibrations to Tegan’s cunt.  
Tegan had her head thrown back and one of her hands gripping at Sara’s hair towards her, encouraging her without words. Her legs were lifted by the shoulders under her thighs.  
Sara’s mouth worked through the folds, her tongue running up and down in a constant rythm. Her hands took Tegan’s soft and pale thighs to spread them further. She couldn’t keep her eyes open no matter how hard she tried. They shut from the dizzying feeling of Tegan’s hot center pulsing and the tangy liquid that kept invading her mouth.  
“Fuck--fuck. Oh, fuck me...” Tegan panted.  
“Mh hm?” Sara hummed before shoving her tongue inside Tegan.  
The hips bucked back and forth frantically from then on, trying to get Sara as deep as possible. She tried to stop hurting her scalp with all the gripping and began to smooth Sara’s hair back instead, then cupping her head, applying a light pressure to her sex. She moaned loudly and bucked her hips suddenly.  
Sara moved her tongue in and out expertly, feeling every inch of her twin’s walls pulsate around her. The sound of the television was helping her focus, almost grounding her. She opened her eyes, still viciously tonguing Tegan’s cunt and looked up. To get her attention, she clawed at her thighs. Tegan brought her head back straight and she opened her eyes as a gunshot fired in the background. It was from the TV. They finally looked at each other, through each other, trying to guess what was going to happen. Tegan was obviously close, and she kept rolling her hips to make Sara’s tongue hit her G spot. Her breathe was a little ragged, but not to the point of being worn out.  
Sara grabbed her sister’s pale wrists from the back of her head and held them down against the equally pale thighs. She changed her method to slow lapping, making Tegan grunt in frustration and move her thighs. Sara used all of her force to keep the shaking legs and wrists in place, while she resumed her activities. Then she closed her mouth around Tegan’s hard clit, gently flicking it with her tongue.  
“God, right there--yeah, right there,” Tegan sighed.  
Sara sucked and slightly pulled on her clit, gaining and loud squeal from Tegan quickly releasing and continuing to lick it. She struggled to keep her hands from moving around, desperately trying to grab her head and grind herself.  
“I’m gonna come...”  
Immediately, Sara resumed her attacks on Tegan’s clit, sucking and licking it like her life depended on it. Tegan body arched as she moaned and gasped loudly. When her body stilled, Sara took her mouth off the clit. She gladly lapped up all the come she could, careful not to touch the sensitive bud. She felt like she needed this liquid like water. It didn’t taste like anything or anyone she knew. Only when she was done, she let go of the wrists, pushed herself to her knees and climbed on top of Tegan.  
When Tegan saw Sara’s chin dripping with come, she smiled and reached up to kiss her softly, to taste herself on her lips. Sara groped and gently squeezed Tegan’s breast as they kissed.  
“How was that?” Sara asked, leaning her forhead on her sister’s.  
“It was good,” she said, pecking Sara’s lips. “Very, very good.” And she did it again, giggling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the comments! <3


	9. Nine

The snuggling continued until they finished their sandwiches and season one. Later in the evening they had some whiskey and grabbed their guitars. They sat in the dining room, Tegan on a stool and Sara on the table. They brought their notebooks along to write any changes or things they needed to remember. They did Call It Off a few times, without singing. They tried it with different variations and correcting each other.  
“I’m pretty sure I’m gonna play alone when we sing this,” Tegan said.   
“No! Together! It sounds good,” Sara said, refilling their glasses.   
“Okay, really listen when we do it together,” she agreed.   
“Take a sip first.”  
They both took one at the same time. When they started playing, Sara was doing it too slow again.  
“Okay see? It’s not working. It’s my song anyways,” Tegan exclaimed. “Just listen and tell me if it’s good.”  
“Fine. I’ll take this off,” Sara said. She stood up, took the strap over her head and put the instrument on the table.  
Tegan started to play alone, focused. Sara watched her, her hands, her mouth saying the words without her voice, her eyes shut. She was frowning.   
“Call, break, it, off...”  
Sara had not taken the time to listen her sister sing in so long. Just listen and take in the lyrics of the song she had written. Not only that, but it was written for her. Tegan hadn’t told her, but it fit the situation they were in at that time. Whatever Tegan told to the interviewers were lies. Call it off was about a time where they were in a really rough spot. Sara had appologized for what she told Tegan on the phone before their tour in 2005. She told her “Just call it off. I don’t care”. At that was it. Obviously they made up and the tour was not cancelled. Whenever Sara thought about that time, she found it so ridiculous. They didn’t fight about the same stuff now. Everything was so much different. They were much better financially, emotionally and their communication was better. They knew how to back off when it was getting to heated. They knew that being passive-aggressive didn’t help, they had to speak their minds to solve problems. It took a long time for them to find peace with each other and their relationship. It was mainly because of all the hiding. No one could know. So many years of questionning each other, if this was as wrong as the world made it out to be.  
“Sara?” Tegan asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”  
“Um, you’re good. It’s good,” she said, returning from her thoughts.  
“You don’t seem sure.”  
“Tegan!” Sara yelled, grabbing her glass and taking the last sip that was left.   
“What?”  
Sara sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Call It Off makes me sad.”  
“You’re face is so red,” Tegan said, giggling.  
“Shut up Tee,” Sara snapped, smiling. She sat down and placed her glass on the table.  
“Sorry I made you sad with Call It Off.”  
“It didn’t make me sad, really. I’m just saying. When you sing it like that right in front of me is like I’m seeing 2007 Tegan with a mullet and everything, sitting on my couch and playing this song for the first time.”  
“So it did make you sad,” Tegan figured, removing the guitar from her lap and placing it against the table carefully.  
“Not really. But kinda,” Sara muttered.

To make the bad vibe go away, Tegan took Sara’s hand and brought her to the living room. She picked a playlist from her phone and plugged her phone to the speakers by the window. The song was Maybe by Janis Joplin. Sara smiled. Tegan approached her sister, She took her hand and placed the other on her hip. Sara understood what was happening and put her hand on Tegan’s shoulder.  
“A dance?” Sara asked.  
Tegan began to sway and press their bodies together, sliding her hand to Sara’s lower back.  
“Yeah, a dance.”  
“You should tell me when you’re uncomfortable,” Tegan said.  
“It’s just a song, it’s fine,” Sara assured as Tegan lead the dance.   
“It’s not just a song. Listen, I wrote it when I was so pissed at you.”  
Sara frowned. “You aren’t now! Are you?”  
“No.”  
A short pause.  
“I just didn’t expect that you would be uncomfortable. With any song actually. If we sing it on stage in front of strangers as if it were nothing, why does hearing me sing it make you feel that way?” Tegan wondered while Sara’s head lay on her shoulder.   
“It was personal. It made me feel like you were talking to me...just...uncomfortable.”  
“Let’s forget about it,” Tegan said in a low voice.  
Sara lifted her head back up and smiled, inches away from Tegan’s face. “Let’s have a drink,” she suggested.  
Tegan gave her a small peck. “Good idea.”


	10. Tenth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is pretty long!! THANK you to everyone who left kudos and comments xoxox

Later around five, they decided to dance a bit more but Tegan kept nibbling Sara’s ear. It was one of her most ticklish areas so she fought back by tickling her sister’s sides.   
“Hey! Stop that,” Tegan squealed, trying to push Sara away.  
“Bitch! I know your weak spot,” Sara said, reaching under Tegan’s arms.  
Tegan was laughing uncontrollably, partly because of the alcohol.  
“Sara...”  
Sara started tickling her armpits and made her fall on the carpet.   
“Oh my god, Sara are you serious--” Tegan was caught by a fit of laughter from her twin climbing on her and tickling her stomach. Sara was laughing almost just as hard but it was from Tegan’s face being all red and her struggle to get up.  
Suddenly, Tegan was able to grab Sara’s wrists, making her freeze. They looked into each other’s eyes.  
“If you don’t get up and run into the bedroom right now,” Tegan whispered, unexpectedly calm. “I’m gonna beat that ass of your’s.”  
Tegan released her wrists and Sara rushed through the hall, followed by Tegan. They both giggled and the door slammed shut behind them. Sara barely had the time to register what was happening when Tegan pushed her front to the wall, holding her shoulder in place with one hand, and the other on her back.   
“What are you doing,” Sara wondered, smiling. Her hair uncomfortably covered her sweaty forehead. Her palms pushed against the wall, trying to get out of Tegan’s grip.  
“That wasn’t okay, what you did. You misbehaved,” Tegan said in a sweet voice.  
“You started it, bitch,” Sara snapped, breathing in deeply.  
Tegan rolled her eyes, pressing her whole body along Sara’s. She thrust her hips lightly against her behind.   
“Play the game, Sara,” she whispered.  
“Oh.” Sara cleared her voice and focused to sound like she was begging. “I’m sorry...I tickled you and made you fall.”  
“And I hate it when you tease me. It’s so annoying. I wish you did what I told you.”  
Sara let out a whiny squeal, rubbing herself against Tegan’s crotch.  
“You’re teasing me again?” Tegan exclamed, secretely enjoying the pressure and the feel of the two layers of denim scraping.  
One of her hands slid down to her ass. She squeezed and carressed it for a couple of seconds. The sound of them breathing filled the silence of the room. To Sara, this was weirdly arousing. She was expecting a slap at any moment. Then it came, hard and it made her gasp, no matter how ready she was. A few playful squeezes followed, then another slap. Tegan was so strong, she could probably bruise Sara.  
“I’m gonna get these off,” Tegan said in her sweet, calming voice against the back of Sara’s neck. She unbuttoned the jeans and peeled them off almost all the way down, keeping on the light blue panties. Sara didn’t dare to move.  
A light spank hit her, slapping her skin. The heat between her legs was becoming difficult not to notice. She felt her wetness drip and quickly soak the cotton of her underwear. The next spanking made matters worse, making the blood rush to her wet, come covered cunt. She needed to have something inside her, something to fill her. Her clit throbbed at every slap and every carress. Tegan pressed herself once more on the body in front of her, sliding her left hand to Sara’s stomach, and the other up to her breast. She grinned when realizing that not only was her sister not wearing a bra, but she was aroused and her nipples were hard. She stroked the flat tummy through Sara’s t-shirt. When she started playing with her nipple and pulling on it, Sara sighed.  
“How was that, hm?” Tegan breathed on her neck.  
“Good,” she replied, urgently.   
Her body was quickly flipped to face Tegan, who proceeded to press their lips together, kissing her chastly a few times, then requested to enter her mouth with her soft tongue. Sara grabbed the hand that was on her shoulder and dragged it down, thinking Tegan needed a hint.  
That same hand ripped away and grabbed Sara’s throat, not to choke her, but as a warning.  
“What do you think you’re doing?”  
Sara was quite a sight; her messy hair falling in her face, her lust filled eyes, her red and flustered cheeks.  
“I’m going all nice and slow, just for you. So that you’re ready for me when I touch you. I want to make love to you. Isn’t that what you want?” Tegan said, pouting. She was doing such a good job at being dominant, Sara’s juices were starting to leak down her inner thighs.   
“No,” Sara mouthed.   
“What do you want then?”  
“I want your...” Sara held on to Tegan’s wrist which was holding her neck in place. “I want you to fuck me. Pound me.”  
“You wanna come all over my dick? You want me to stretch your tight little pussy huh?” Tegan said, inching her face closer.   
“Fuck,” Sara whispered.  
“Who’s slut are you? Who does your ass belong to?”  
“Your’s.”  
Tegan thought for a moment. Still holding her by the neck, she lead Sara to sit on the bed.   
“Well since this slut is mine, I should be allowed to inspect it, huh? What do you say?” Tegan suggested.  
Sara didn’t need to be asked to kick off her jeans all the way and lay on the bed, excitedly spreading her legs. Tegan bent over on the bed, looking between Sara’s legs.   
“What is that?” she asked, speaking of the wetness apparent through the blue underwear, propping herself in the middle of her thighs, not too close to her center. “Did I make you wet like that? When I was spanking you?” She looked up to see Sara’s reaction.  
Sara liften herself on her elbows and nodded, trying to breathe quietly.  
“What happens when I do this?” Tegan asked. She placed her thumb on Sara’s clit and made little circles over the fabric. Sara bit her lip in frustration.  
Tegan slowly pulled down the panties with the help of Sara lifting her hips. Tegan grinned and licked her lips when she saw a string of fluid stick from Sara’s cunt to the crotch of her underwear before snapping. She put it aside.  
“Tegan, fuck me.”  
“Shut up,” she snapped, pulling on her thighs roughly to bring her closer. She lay down on her stomach with her face so close she could smell Sara’s sex. Now, not only were they both drunk but Tegan was mesmerized and intoxicated by the scent.   
“Let’s see what happens when I do this,” Tegan almost muttered, inserting her middle finger and ring finger inside Sara.   
“Hm...Tegan please--”  
“Stop talking, Jesus,” Tegan ordered. Her attention went back to the fingering and her two fingers easily thrust up to her knuckles. She apreciated the slick wetness of Sara’s pussy, and as she moved her wrist back and forth at a comfortable speed, the juices were dripping on the matress. Sara was having a difficult time staying still but her hips were spasming with anticipation. Suddenly Tegan stopped her motions and crawled up her twin’s body, grabbing her jaw roughly.  
“You liked it when I spanked you, huh? You like it when I punish you?”  
Sara opened her mouth in discomfort but nodded anyways.  
“How about this?” Tegan’s hand that was between their body’s reached for Sara’s pussy and slapped it, not too hard.  
“Ah! Tee...” Sara yelped, bucking her hips.  
Tegan slapped her again, making her scream again. She saw the satisfied smile on Sara’s face after yelping, so she continued to slap her throbbing clit.   
“I can’t--” Sara started, grabbing Tegan’s arm to relieve her jaw. “Please, just fuck me already.”  
“Sara,” Tegan said, letting Sara’s face go, her voice going back to normal, not teasing or sweet. “I don’t really feel like using the dildo from earlier...I’m kind of...”  
“Sore?” Sara said, lifting her eyebrows, proud of the result of their previous sexual encounter.  
Tegan rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Where do you keep your strap-on? The one that actually has straps.”  
“In a pink bag with a zipper, on a shelf of the closet. It’s clean, just put it on.”  
Tegan glanced over at the closet. When her eyes returned to Sara she frowned.  
“Fine. Now be good and when I’m back, I want you on your knees, your face on the mattress. Be good, okay?” Tegan instructed, her voice mildly condescending.  
Sara nodded quickly.  
They each got ready, Sara took her shirt off and immediately got into position.   
Tegan got out of her pants and socks off but kept her shirt and underwear on. She thought the clothing would make her look more dominant, like she was the one giving it. She easily fastened herself in, having done this before. Not with Sara though. She was always the receiving end when it came to dildos and strap-on. She tightened it a little bit and stroked it, convincing herself it really was her dick. It was flesh colored and looked real. She turned to see Sara, her butt up and her face down. Tegan giggled a bit when she saw that Sara had kept her socks on.   
“What?” Sara wondered.  
“Nothing. Shh... I’m gonna fuck you so good, you know that?” Tegan said, kneeling on the mattress and stroking Sara’s back.  
This was the first time Tegan was being so dominant and in charge. It felt good. Of course, it happened all the time that Tegan was on top doing stuff or ordering Sara around, but it was the first time that Sara was really expressing her desire to be used and abused as Tegan pleased. This of course wouldn’t change anything between them. It was just a way for them to show each other how much they loved each other.  
Tegan placed the head of the dildo to Sara’s entrance. Immediately, Sara backed up against it, sliding it into herself.  
“Eager are we?!” Tegan exclamed, not expecting this to happen so fast.  
Sara kept slowly thrusting herself on the eight inches while Tegan did little to help her but kept alternating between stroking and clawing at her lower back. At one point Tegan took the dildo in her hands, stopping her partner from using it. There was a whimper of despair, but then Tegan began running the tip through Sara’s folds, paying special attention to her clit.  
“Fuuuck...” Sara whispered, getting the hair out of her face and lifting herself from the bed to look behind her.   
“No, no, no,” Tegan said, continuing her treatment. She pushed against Sara’s shoulder to make her face touch the sheets.   
“Please, please,” Sara complained.   
“You’re gonna get it for real if you keep begging like that,” Tegan warned.   
“I AM begging...put it in me,” she demanded.  
“Isn’t this enough to make you come?” Tegan circled the bundle of nerves with the cock.  
“No!”   
“Fine! You dumb whore.” A sharp spank was given to Sara’s ass. Then, Tegan grabbed her hips to ram the entire shaft in her tight but drenched entrance. It made Sara yell out of surprise.  
The quick and hard pace was sending a pleasant pressure to Tegan’s center, but she tried to keep her focus on her twin who was breathing hard against the bed. An occasional moan would escape her lips but she was becoming more of a breathless mess than anything else, to Tegan’s delight. She alternated between slower and harder thrusts and faster ones, to see what would have a better effect. She tried different angles of penetration, really pressing on Sara’s G-spot. This was the first time of her using a strap-on on Sara, and she wasn’t even sure what was her preferred method or how she liked it done.   
“Oh my god...keep doing that...”  
Obeying, Tegan rolled her hips, permitting the toy to brush again her clit, then pushing hard on her G-spot. One of her hands slipped to Sara’s head and she grabbed her hair to arch her neck back. Soon, Sara felt a breath on the side of her face. Her sister had lay down on her back, it was like their bodies became one.  
“Are you gonna come?”  
Tegan shook Sara’s head by gripping her roots.  
“Come on. You can do it.”  
Seconds later, Sara gasped a couple of times before moaning loudly, Tegan met some resistance from her pussy tightening as she continued relentlessly fucking her. Sara screamed a few times into the bedsheets and grabbed at the blankets. When she fell silent, Tegan pulled out and shoved Sara roughly to lie on her back. She saw that her chest was heaving, her eyes were shut but there was a small grin on her face.  
Sara was so happy. She had waited for this for months. It was a relief, and she was glad that Tegan took her role so seriously. She felt an ache between her legs, but it was good pain. She took deep breaths and tried to relax to the sound of straps loosening and Tegan catching her breath. It had been quite a ride for her as well. With only the small light of the night stand on, Tegan was getting rid of her accessory with a bit of difficulty, but in less than a minute, she joined Sara, wrapping an arm over her stomach and softly kissing her shoulder.  
“Are you okay, my love?”  
Sara let out a confused giggle. “Are you serious? Tegan you’re drunk.”  
“And in love,” she added, her voice sleepy.  
There was a silence. No one moved.  
“When you called me a dumb whore--”  
“Too much?” Tegan guessed.  
“No I liked it. It was nice.”  
Sara turned her head to the side to look at Tegan. “Tee?”  
They looked at each other and after a little while, Tegan leaned in and they shared a short but meaningful kiss.  
Sara got on her elbow to look down on Tegan. She examinated the redness on her nose, the layer of sweat on her forehead, the defined cheekbones, her half-open mouth. She brought her hand to her face, carressing the side of her face softly with her fingers. Tegan looked at her and Sara smiled before running her thumb over the smooth pink skin of her sister’s lower lip. A sigh escaped from her lungs as Sara snaked her thigh over one of her legs, parting them a little.   
Tegan took her wrist to kiss it, never breaking eye contact. Then she kissed her thumb. Sara thigh touched her underwear clad core and realized how aroused and wet she was. She let two fingers slide into Tegan’s mouth. They were looking at each other, and Tegan was still holding her wrist, encouraging Sara. She bucked her hips, trying to relieve herself on Sara’s leg, who was starting to roll her hips as well, moving against her and giving her much needed friction. Tegan moaned as the fingers slid halfway into her mouth. She sucked on them and nodded in approval. Sara moved her leg around in circles slowly, already making Tegan breathe harshly. She had closed her eyes in lust.  
“Tegan?” Sara asked monotonely and pulling her hand away, stopping all movement.  
“Wh-what?”  
“I’m like really hungry, I’m gonna order pizza.”


	11. Eleventh

They lay back in bed after putting pajamas on and receiving the pizza. They sipped on their sodas and started watching a murder documentary on Sara’s laptop. Earlier, Tegan’s heart sank when she realized they only had two days left together. After that, Tegan would have to go back to Vancouver and Sara would go meet Stacy in L.A.. She always felt this pain in her heart when realizing their secret encounter would be ending. It seemed like she was so dependent of Sara sometimes, like they needed to be attached at the waist. And it seemed like Sara didn’t feel the same. Of course they both loved each other infinetely, but Sara was so independant and comfortable with loneliness. Or maybe she was more quiet about it. Maybe this was all she needed. So much had changed since their teens. They would climb in each others beds any night their parents were out. It was physical attraction, purely sexual, and after a while, when they were both single, they realized it wasn’t just fucking and playing games. It was infatuation. And strangely that was more horrible and taboo than the sexual experiences they had lived. Tegan missed her sister. She knew it would pass when she would go back to her appartment with all her stuff and things she had to do, but right now, she missed her.  
Tegan rolled slightly to her side and wrapped an arm just below Sara’s chest. She groaned against her shoulder. Sara welcomed the hug by brushing her fingers on the skin of Tegan’s arm, but she kept her eyes focused on the screen.  
“Sara...” Tegan whispered.  
“Hm.”  
Tegan lifted up her neck to kiss Sara’s cheek. “Love you,” She said next to her ear.  
“I love you too.”  
Tegan’s arm snaked between Sara’s breasts, to her collarbone, her neck and she went to cradle her jaw and run her thumb across the warm skin of her face. With her leg already over Sara’s, she pushed herself against her side a little bit, signaling that she wanted attention. Her hand went back down to the level of Sara’s chest and she softly let her fingers stroke her breast through the fabric of her night shirt.  
“How are you, baby?” Sara asked turning her head, her eyes half-open.  
“Baby?”  
“Yes. Kiss me baby.”  
Tegan’s mouth hovered Sara’s for a second, then ran her tongue over Sara’s lower lip and entered her mouth, lingering there without moving, and Sara kissed her back, letting their tongues touch and feel each other, and the sound of the suspenseful program they were watching kept on. There was a contrast between the horror-sounding soundtrack and the gentle wet sounds and breathing from the two bodies laying in the bed.   
“You’re so sweet to me,” Sara whispered between kisses.  
Their lips made gratifying smacking noises before Tegan massaged her sister’s tongue with her own. Sara sighed and grabbed Tegan’s hips to close the space that was between them wasn’t there anymore, their chests were aligned as well as their hips and their legs tangled as the kept slowly kissing, savoring each other’s mouths.  
“Hm...not that sweet,” Tegan said, pulling away.  
Sara circled her arm around Tegan’s neck to hug her and bring her face to her neck.  
“I miss you,” Tegan told her against her neck.  
“You can’t miss me. I’m here. I’m here Tegan,” Sara assured, lightly chuckling.  
“I miss you when you leave. I miss your skin. Smells like you.”  
Tegan breathed in her scent. She felt like there was not enough time. It was never enough. This wasn’t enough. She hated Sara for making her feel like this. She hated her for being her home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got another chapter coming right up! I just thought I would put this short chapter since I haven't written in so long. The next (longer) chapter will be up tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :)


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